Thankful Thursday

I have been thinking a lot lately about now thankful and grateful I am for my crazy life.  I have always been thankful for my many blessings- my children, my family, my friends, my career, my home, etc etc.  Lately though I have really become thankful for my trials as well.  This last year or so has had a lot of challenges and trials for me.  I went from being a wife and mother of two to a single mother of two.  I have had to rediscover and redifine me.  I was no longer H's wife, I became just Michelle.  Well I LOVE just Michelle.  Yes I have had to redefine my roles as a mother but I have also got to redefine me.  I have learned so much about me. I learned that I love being lazy with my girls on Saturday morning and enjoy just cuddling and hugging them all morning long.  I learned that me time is a good thing and a NEEDED thing.  You have to take time to just be you, to not be mom or wife.  If you don't take time to yourself you can lose who you are.  I am a much better mom now because I take time to do things for myself.  I have also learned that I enjoy cleaning and doing laundry.  Of course I have been cleaning and doing laundry for umpteen years but I have a new outlook on it.  Before it was something I had to do- now it is something I want to do to bless my children.  I may not be able to financially provide as much for my children as I could have before but I do have the ability to provide them with a clean house and clean clothes and that in itself is a blessing!!

A year ago I went to church, said my prayers, cared for others, etc.  However, in the last year I have really developed a relationship with the Lord.  When I was on my floor curled up like a baby bawling my eyes out over the trials that were thrown my way I was crying out to Him for a miracle.  The miracle that I wanted was for my marriage to be saved.  I begged, I cried, I pleaded.  I did not get the miracle that I asked for but I did get a miracle.  God saved ME!! He wrapped His arms around me and gave me His love and  guidance.  I have a completely new found faith.  It's amazing!!! Sometimes as hard as it is you truly do have to put your trust in the Lord.  He really will take care of you.  Through it all I also realized that God has a plan for us, but we also each have our own free will and can make our own decisions that one day you will possibly have to be held accountable for.  Also, you can't change anyone but yourself.  I do feel that I should pray for others to be able to feel God's love and that He be able to touch their lives.

I have a whole new outlook on life now.  I always thought of myself to be a positive person but now I am much more positive. I am becoming the person that God wants me to be, not the person that anyone on this earth thinks I should be.  Do you know how amazing that feels?  If you are going through a difficult time I urge you to rely on the Lord.  Go to Him in prayer, ask for His guidance, but most importantly ask Him to help you to become the person He wants you to be.

Without the trials I have been through in the last year or so then I would not be where I am today or who I am today, and for that I am so incredibly thankful.

What are you thankful for?

"I can do all things in Christ who gives ME strength" Philippians 4:13